WITHOUT YOU

As I logged onto my messenger, I realised Aiden was online. I didn't know what to do, whether I should be acknowledging or ignoring him. What happened between Aiden and I just now was something new, it gave me this new feeling inside, and it wasn't a good one. As I was about to log out, something caught my attention. Aiden just updated.

"It's sad to see that two close people don't even recognise each other anymore, not because they grew up, but because they grew apart." And with those words, I knew he was talking about me and him. Those words looked like normal words but they weren't just 'normal words', words that spoke the blatant truth. As I gazed at those words, a great pain welled up in me and let the tears stream down my ashen pale cheeks. But to be honest, no words could describe how I was feeling at that time. I shut down the computer and lay down on my bed, covering my body with the blanket as I cried silently to myself, closing my eyes, listening to the beautiful voice of the night I call silence. I didn't remember anything after that. I didn't want to anyway.

The next day at school, everything was the same. Who was I kidding? It was everything but 'the same'. I opened my locker and took out the required books for the day as I debated with myself whether I had to seat beside him in homeroom or not. I really hated the fact that I was right before Aiden in the list at that moment. Stupid surnames. However, my train of thoughts were put to a halt as I heard a familiar voice across the room. Kaylee. There he stood, not far from her, his arms crossed as he spoke to Kaylee intently; his chocolate hair mussed up, covering half of his eyes. He had the nerve to talk to my currently only best friend. Jack-ass. I just rolled my eyes and walked towards homeroom.

"Hey." I rushed over to Kaylee as I stepped out of homeroom. Homeroom was alright, I guess. Just me and Aiden ignoring each other.

"Oh, Mia." I could hear a slight annoyance in her tone as she shrugged and continued walking. What was with her? She was walking so quickly as if she was avoiding someone. As I caught up with her, I grab her arm and pulled her in slightly.

"You alright? You're avoiding something, I can tell."

"Whatever Mia, the thing is I cannot believe you would ditch Aiden just because of that asshole. You broke your ten-year friendship with Aiden for such an unforgivable reason, Mia." Kaylee blurted out, her shoulders drooped as she sighed.

"Oh, so he complained? He's just being a sensitive idiot. It was just one project Kay, just one. I've done like a million and one projects with him. I wanted a change. Plus, didn't hear you saying that about Hayden the last time. And you're supposed to be on my side, not his."

"Whatsoever. I don't care Mia. Let's stop talking, I don't follow friends, I follow what I feel is right. Now get a grip and move on. I'm done talking to you." Kaylee replied malevolently. I definitely loathed her right now; she didn't have to be so bitter about it. She could go rot and go to hell for all I care; I couldn't believe she would rather listen to Aiden than me. I was clearly at the apex of anger.

As I opened my locker to put in my file, a slip of paper flew out and perfectly landed on the floor, facing up; allowing me to read the content: 

 
Sorry I forgot to tell you, that as a friend you should be true.

I picked up the paper, ripped it into pieces, threw it into the wastebasket and left without a second glance.

BROKEN GLASS

“Alright class, all of you are required to write a 1000-word review on the book ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ by Harper Lee as you all have read it last year.” Groans erupted as Mr Smith said the sentence. Obviously. A 1000-word essay?! God, I swear teachers are mental.

  

“Now, now there. Good news is, you get to do it with a partner and you are only supposed to hand it in four weeks time,” Mr Smith reassured us. Scratch that. Well, at least the job’s easier now. Partner. Who was going to be my partner? As if on cue, I turned my head just as Aiden’s eyes met mine. We had always been partners when it came to projects. He gave me a signal which alluded whether I wanted to be his partner. As I was about to mouth the obvious reply, Hayden patted from behind. He touched me. Wow, I was seriously turning sappy. I need to watch that. My eyes left Aiden’s as they focused on Hayden.

“So, you want to be partners?” Hayden enquired me as he gave me one of his many cute smiles. Crap. If I said ‘no’ to him, that would hurt his feelings but I couldn’t say ‘yes’ either because someone sitting behind me was waiting for the same answer. Oh holy shit. What was I going to say? I needed to answer him as he was staring at me, looking confused. Shit, shit, shit. Uh! Aiden. Hayden. Aiden. Hayden. Oh great, now the fact that their names rhyme was creeping me out and giving me a bad headache. 

“Mia? Is it a yes or a no?” Hayden asked me, clearly getting impatient.

“Yes...” I couldn’t believe my ears when the words came out. Oh freaking hell.

“Great,” Hayden sounded upbeat. I gave him a wry smile.

“Alright class, once you’ve gotten a partner, please come up and write your names down,” Mr Smith announced to us.

As Hayden and I stood up, I could already see Aiden walking up towards me. Here is it.

“Hey partner, let’s go,” Aiden winked at me, giving me his happy smile. Shit, he thinks I’m his partner. 

“Partner? Mia’s my partner,” Hayden’s sudden reply jolted me.  Oh no. I didn’t want to know what was going to happen next. 

“Hayden, is it? No, you got it wrong. Mia’s my partner,” Aiden retorted. Testosterone was obviously present in between them. I needed to clear this up, whether I’d like it or not. They both looked at me, waiting for me to say something. Here goes nothing.

“Um, Aiden, you’re... you’re not my partner. Hayden is...” I wanted to get away from them. I just didn’t dare to look at him.

“What?” Aiden’s voice was full of shock. Oh god, please save me.

“Heard that? You’re not her partner. Now build a bridge and get over it,” Hayden interjected in a mocking tone. Ego was obviously present in him.

“Sorry Aiden...” I mumbled as I dared myself to look up at him. His eyes blazed at Hayden’s, however when they shifted to mine, they soften a bit, as if he was just a small boy, so vulnerable. His eyes spoke something different, something I had never seen before and I didn’t like the feeling of it. They didn’t leave me once when he got back into his seat. The more I looked into those eyes, the more they stabbed my heart, leaving it with a stinging feeling.

I wanted to just run away.

BLACK AND WHITE

"Oh my God, it’s the final term of school!" Kaylee told me for the bajillionth time. Kaylee was my best girl friend. We have been friends since the start of elementary school.

"Yes, I know. I heard it the first time," I replied her in a monotonous tone, clearly showing her I wasn't in the mood. I was still thinking about Aiden and what happened yesterday. Are we talking? I didn't know.

"Hey, you okay?" Kaylee asked me, her eyes full of concern. I didn't get to answer her question, because at that moment, Hayden sauntered towards us, looking much hotter than yesterday. I could hear Kaylee's soft gasp. I chuckled to myself as it was unusual for Kaylee to react in such a way to a guy.

"Hey Mia," Hayden gave me a slow smile as his eyes moved from me to Kaylee's.

"Oh, I'm Kay... Kaylee," Kaylee answered as if she had forgotten her name. I could see her face was bathed in red. Well, I didn't blame her.

"I just wanted to see hello. See you later girls," as Hayden left us, he gave me a wink. I thought I could have died at that moment if not for the fact that my heart was still beating.

"Oh my freaking God! Who was that?! How did he know you?! God, he is so hot!" Kaylee shot me with questions as she smiled sheepishly to herself.

"He's Hayden; he's in my Literature Class. He's new by the way," I fed Kaylee with her burning questions. Her eyes widened just as I finished the sentence.

"In your freaking class?! Did I hear your class?! Oh gosh, Mia. You do not know how lucky you are!" Kaylee shook me so hard I thought I was going to fall back and hit my head.

"Who's lucky?" a familiar voice came from behind my back. As I turned around, I realised it was Aiden. He was smiling at me. Well, that answers my question. So, we're still talking. Great. I guess I was just over-thinking it too much. I returned him a smile. 

"Mia. Didn't you hear she's in the same class as Hayden?! Well, obviously you know, I mean since you're in the same class as Mia. But come on, have you seen him?! Man, he's so...” I glared at Kaylee willing her to stop talking. She gave me a confused look.

"Not my business," Aiden said, obviously uninterested in the topic. He was wearing the look he had yesterday. I still couldn't figure out what the look meant.

"Wow Aiden, thanks for the support. You so need to be friends with Hayden! Then our girl Mia here, can hook up with him," Kaylee gave me a smirk. I am so going to kill you Kaylee. You better watch out. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Aiden didn't look happy with Kaylee's brainless comment. 

"See you later in Literature Class, M," Aiden looked at me as he left. I couldn't read his eyes. It was as if he was happy, sad and angry at the same time. Now, how is that possible? Kaylee gave me her confused look again as my eyes gazed at Aiden's back, still wondering why he had been acting different lately. I missed the old him.

“What’s with him?” Kaylee whispered to me suddenly. I don’t know Kaylee, not at all. I let the thought remain unheard.  

THE LAST PAGE

When I walked into my Literature class and took a seat beside Aiden, he gave me a nudge and that smirk I was talking about.

“Hey, so did you bring a knife?” he asked me teasingly. 

“No, I brought a chopper,” I said trying to sound and look serious which I probably failed to.

“Class, please settle down,” Mr Smith’s voice quietened the whole class, “...today we’re happy to announce to you that a new student will be joining our school and class. Hayden please come in.”

As the new boy entered, I could literally hear the girls’ sucking their breath. But I don’t blame them. Goodness, he was gorgeous. He looked around the classroom but as his eyes met mine, he stopped. I felt something different in me, something wonderful. It was as if his eyes alone could captivate my attention. He gave me a slight smile as he looked in another direction. Too late to smile back, I told myself. 

“Now class, since Hayden is new, please make him feel welcome,” Mr Smith continued, “...and Mia, if you don’t mind, could Hayden sit beside you?” my eyes quickly focused to Mr Smith, still trying to process what he had just said to me. Sit beside me? My eyes directed to Aiden. “Now, don’t worry Aiden, could you sit at the back for the time being?” I couldn’t read the expression on Aiden’s face which was unusual. He gave Mr Smith a slight nod and started to pack his things. As he grabbed his bag to move to the back, his eyes looked into mine, as if he was searching for an answer from within them. I couldn’t understand his sudden change in behaviour at that moment.

As Aiden came out of my view, Hayden came into the picture. He sat and gave me a smile as I smiled back. I could feel my heart pounding fast. 

“Mia? I’m Hayden in case you didn’t heard,” his voice was velvety yet clear at the same time.

“Yeah, how did you know my name?” 

“Mr Smith? He called out your name remember?” Hayden laughed a little. I laughed with him but stopped when I realised how stupid and moronic my question was. 

“Mia? Hayden? I’m pretty sure you two have a lot to talk about since you just met, but class needs to start. You can talk after school,” Mr Smith interrupted. God, how embarrassing. Now everyone knows I’ve been talking to the new guy in class. I faked a smile to indicate him that I was ready for his boring sermon.  He rambled on for what felt like a million years before the school bell rang. 

“Hey Mia, see you some time again,” Hayden acknowledged me as soon as he was about to leave the class. 

“Sure, see you,” I felt like an idiot replying him with my three-word answers. He smiled at me before leaving the classroom. I felt a surge of warmth inside me. Could I possibly like this guy whom I just met less than an hour? I didn’t know yet.

“Hey, you okay?” I looked away from wherever I was looking at and turned to see Aiden standing there. He had one of his concerned looks.

“Yeah, why did you ask?” 

“Number one, can you please tell me when you’re killing me so that I can think of a way to defend myself? Number two, you were blushing and smiling when you were staring at the door. I usually agree with you M, but I don’t find that door one bit attractive at all,” Aiden taunted me.

“Ha-ha, very funny. And yes, I do find the door very attractive,” I answered semi-sarcastically.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Aiden’s eyes looked into my eyes yearning for an answer.

“Huh?” I was confused. 

“Hayden. You like him,” Aiden’s reply shocked me. How did he know? Of course he knows; he’s your best friend idiot! He can clearly see how you melt in front of him!

“No. No, I don’t,” Aiden’s reply didn’t sound like a question but I answered it anyway. Aiden raised one of his brows and shrugged. He looked like he refused to look me in the eye. Aiden and I had been best friends for years and for the first time I actually felt uncomfortable talking to him.

“Oh well, see you then.” As Aiden left the classroom, I remembered he didn’t ask me whether I wanted to hang out. He left just like that.  I stood there feeling somewhat hurt and confused. I really didn’t know and didn’t want to know what I was feeling.

Remembering all our memories, and it is times like these that I miss you most, remembering when we were so close. I let the thought linger in my head as I left the classroom and went back home.

THE BEST MIRROR

How was I supposed to write a five-paged poem? I scratched my head, thinking fervently how to start the first line. Who was I kidding? I’ve gotten a C in it before. I suck.

Friends are people whom you can talk to, scratch that. I can’t believe that I wrote such a cheesy line. How was I going to finish this by tomorrow?! Then, my phone beeped; it was a message from Aiden.

  

Oh, I was just kidding when I said Mr Smith gave us a five-paged assignment. He told us to write one poem.

  

What the heck?

I am so gonna kill you tomorrow.

My phone beeped again.

Aw, sure thing. You know that I love you M.

I chuckled as I looked at his reply. I’ve always loved his sarcasm.

Okay then. I will bring my knife along. I pressed the ‘send’ button. I decided to join in the fun.

When he didn’t reply, I got back to my assignment as I thought of a way to start the first line. What was friendship to me? Aiden. That was the first thing that popped into my mind.  But I couldn’t write the one-word answer in my poem. I sighed, enough for a heap of leaves to scatter. Then, a line popped into my head.

A youth said, “Speak to us of friendship.”

Your friend is your needs answered, I wrote the next line, coming naturally to me.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap thanksgiving,

And he is your plain that remains the same,

For you have come to him with your frustration, and you seek him for peace,

And in the compassion of friendship, let there be laughter,

Sharing of pleasures,

For in the dew of small things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

I finished writing the poem. To be honest, I was satisfied with myself. This wasn’t the best poem I’ve read, but definitely the best one I’ve put in writing. I smiled at myself moronically. Perhaps it was due to the fact that it was the topic that is the closest to my heart. Friendship. As I read the poem once again, I realised I wrote about my friendship with Aiden, what I thought about our friendship. Dear God, please make our friendship last forever, I prayed silently. I didn’t want to lose anything we both had.

Are you done? Aiden’s text popped out my mobile phone’s screen.

Yeah. Thanks Aiden. I replied.

What are you thanking for?

Nothing, just wanted to say thanks. I smiled at his question but it was best unanswered.

Are you alright? Oh God, you’re going to kill me tomorrow right?! I smiled again.

I’ll think about it. Anyhow, see you tomorrow. I texted back my sarcastic reply.

See you too.

Yes, Aiden and I had a beautiful friendship that will never ever be replaced with something else. Never.

Hey guys! Just a little short announcement! Just to let you know, Roxanne is my editor for this book I'm writing! Thank you Roxanne!

ONE MIND, TWO SOULS

I love the rain. The sound, the sight of it calms me. It helps me find my inner peace, my soul. It is raining today. As I sat inside the big, bare classroom, I looked outside to see the droplets on the window pane. I could see my reflection; I could see the whole class from that small window pane, from another point of perspective. Looking at things in a different way gives me a happy, contented feeling inside. Yes, please call me weird. As I continued to see outside, I noticed something different. No, it wasn’t the outside that was different. I could see a figure at the reflection standing, crossing her arms while looking at me intently.

“Mia, class is dismissed in case you didn’t hear me,” Mrs Ellis told me, “...which clearly you didn’t,” she added at the end. She gave me a good five-second glare and disappeared from the classroom. Crap. This was already my third time a teacher caught me not paying attention in class. I quickly packed my books and rushed out the classroom. As I walked through the hallway, I could see Aiden waiting for me at his locker. He gave me a smile as I rushed over him. Aiden was my best friend. In fact, he has been my best friend for a long time now. We had been best friends since kindergarten.

“Hey,” Aiden greeted me, interrupting my thoughts.

“Hey. So, what’re you planning to do now?” I questioned him.  Aiden and I always hung out with each other after school. In fact, it was more like a daily thing we did with each other.

“Sorry M, as much as I want to hang out with you today, I can’t. In case you had forgotten, we have a five-page Literature assignment due tomorrow,” Aiden sighed. Crap.

“Huh? What assignment Aiden? I don’t recall Mr Smith saying we had any assignment?” my voice was full of eagerness and anxiety. Aiden raised one of his eyebrows and gave me a sinister smile.

“Well, yes he did. But you wouldn’t know that would you? Since you were busy drawing my cute face during Literature lesson,” Aiden gave me a smirk that I loved but hated at the same time. What was this guy talking about?

“Number one, I wasn’t drawing, I was writing. Number two, I’m dead because I haven’t even started on the assignment. And number three, yes, you’re cute since ‘cute’ means ugly but adorable. Oh, and don’t forget to minus off the word ‘adorable’. It doesn’t fit you,” I chuckled at him and stuck out my tongue to show him I was joking. But it didn’t matter anyhow. Aiden and I are so close we don’t need to tell each other we were joking. It was another thing me and Aiden shared. However today, his face spoke something different. Something I couldn't really figure out.

“Oh come on Mia, you need to stop reading the dictionary. And please, you definitely knew what type of ‘cute’ I was talking about,” Aiden wagged his eyebrows at me. His words rubbed off my thoughts almost immediately. Who was I kidding? Aiden wasn’t the type of guy who would cry over a girl just because she thinks he’s ugly. But I didn’t find Aiden ugly at all. Obviously, I was joking. In fact, Aiden is well, alright I hate to admit this, but well he is hot. Ah!  I just said it! Thank the world for not having human beings being able to read each other’s minds, I thanked God silently. I definitely didn’t need Aiden to know how I felt about his looks. As I was getting back to the topic, Aiden is hot. He had dark chocolate hair that looked like black from a distance. He had the kind of eyes that you can look into and feel like you are getting lost. The kind you can relate to that are truly windows to the soul.

“Mia, are you there? Mia?!” I snapped back into reality and left my thoughts. Aiden was giving me a weird look. “You’re doing that spacing out thing again. Just wanted to tell you, I’m going home. See you tomorrow!” Aiden bolted at lightning speed and gave me a frantic wave from the back. I shook my head from side to side. Boys.

Oh, did I mention to you that he also had a nice ass? I was shocked at my own thought as I started walking home. Oh well.

Hi! So, you guys will be reading my so-called book "Shadow" here. I hope you guys will enjoy it even though how lame and crappy it is. Thank you and happy reading!